Pet Parents Should Have to Pay Child Support

Lauren Alexis Wood

More often than not, in today’s modern society, a breakup usually involves a cat or dog. More couples are choosing to not have children (hence the declining birth rate) and are opting to raise a pet in lieu of having a child. The problem: the divorce rate is exactly the same as it was 10 years ago. So now you have all these single people raising a dog that they bought with their spouse.

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Breakups can be nasty but they can be especially traumatizing when a pet is involved. Once custody and any visitation rights have been decided, the burden of care now falls entirely on the shoulders of the new sole-owner. 

Do you know how expensive a pet can be?

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Even if it’s just a hamster you still have all those brightly-colored tubes that snap together to worry about buying and replacing over time, I mean those aren’t free.

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And boy let me tell you, dogs and cats have accessories. That backpack with the clear bubble hatch so your cat can see what’s going on around you when you’re outside? Those are like $50! A hooded stroller for a small dog to enjoy a walk on the park? Also not cheap. Food. Medicine. Shampoo. Treats. Toys. Therapy. Chiropractic care. Psychic readings. All of this now falls on just one pet parent’s shoulders and that’s not fair. 

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When you were together you made a commitment to love one another and to care for that animal as a team, and now that promise has been broken. But it doesn’t have to be.

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With child support a single pet parent can ensure that their pet grows up without having to do without. Just because dad ran off with a Hooter’s waitress doesn’t mean Roscoe can’t still be the best-groomed Labrador at the park. Just because Mom needed to focus on her career right now and it wasn’t you it was her doesn’t mean Sphinx can’t still get Pretty Litter (in no way is this essay sponsored by Pretty Litter. However, if they wanted to send a free bag it would not be turned down). 

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All in all? Ex-pet parents should have to pay child support, excuse me, pet support, to ensure the happiness, safety, and comfort of the pet no longer in their custody because it wasn’t the pet’s fault you fell into your secretary’s cleavage at the Christmas party.
 

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*For each moot, we generate a cover image using  DALL·E, an AI art platform that generates images using natural language processing. This image on the right was generated using the title, 'Pet Parents Should Have to Pay Child Support' in the style of Frida Kahlo, Lauren's artist of choice.*