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Love is Blind, Not Deaf

Court Crandall

Relationship experts say there are characteristics, behaviors and professions you should avoid in a potential romantic partner. This includes people who are emotionally closed off, selfish people and lawyers. But no one talks about the biggest red flag of all in the dating game. And that, of course, is someone who takes karaoke too seriously. Sure, it’s fine to go out with your friends, pound 26 Moscow mules and fumble your way through Don’t Stop Believing or Uptown Funk. This isn’t about about the weekend warrior. This is about the true karaokephile— Someone who knows on Tuesday they’ll be performing karaoke on Saturday… three months from now. You can’t stop these people, but you can limit the likelihood of having children with them. Here are three things to look out for: The first, is anyone who sings an Adele song. This level of confidence typically goes hand-in-battery-powered-microphone with complete delusion that will eventually show itself in other aspects of the relationship. The second thing to beware of, is anyone performing more than one song. The worst words you can hear are not, “I’ve got herpes.” They’re, “Please welcome back to the stage...” Honestly, if one song isn’t enough to satisfy someone's karaoke fix, they’ve got attention issues no amount of therapy is going to solve. Finally, if anyone you’re with decides they’re going to sing six-minute-long Bohemian Rhapsody, this should be your cue to sprint for the parking lot. If you’re fast, you can escape the bar before your partner decides there’s, “No escape from reality…” That concludes this week’s dating advice. Join us next week to discuss the pitfalls of dating any adult who still regularly plays tipping simulations. Let’s add two and two, over and over again, until we feel somewhat prepared for life.

If you enjoyed today’s moot, follow Court on Instagram. If you are feeling generous, consider donating to The Nature Conservancy, Court’s charity of choice..

*For each moot, we generate a cover image using  DALL·E, an AI art platform that generates images using natural language processing. This image on the right was generated using the title, 'Love is Blind, Not Deaf' in the style of  Salvador Dalí, Court's artist of choice.*

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DALL·E 2022-09-12 22.14.38 - painting of a karaoke bar by salvador dali.png

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