There are many problems in America today. Abortion is dividing families. Climate change is taking over our world. Wars seem to be frequent and gun violence is ever present. What can we do to stop it? I don’t know. But I do know that I want to be comfortable while saving this planet, so we must start by abolishing the women’s tee fit.

 

This style of clothing is a devil only known to those who have or have had boobs. The sleeve are typically short, the material typically thin, the stretch is a little too tight and the feel is a little too revealing. It’s simply too horny to wear. Here are the reasons we must demolish this industry standard:

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Sweating: Climate change is real, and every day the earth is getting more and more out of whack. Certainly a tight fitting tee will do more for sweat stains than it will for the female form, no? If people wanted to see me sweat in a sexy way, I would have just worn a tank top. There is no need to highlight that area in this way. You won’t even notice my chest if the sweat stains are circling either side, so why not kill two birds with one stone and wear a normal shirt instead?

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Fabrics: Did you know that by far, most of the world’s pollution comes from non recycled fabrics and textiles? It’s true! Shouldn’t we be working smarter, not more exclusively? Women have already publicly acknowledged that they prefer the feel of unisex shirts. Men have always worn unisex (re: big) shirts. It seems the only people who want these things on their bodies are big breasted people in pornography. If you wanted to show a bit of skin, get some scissors and get creative! Don’t subject me to a narrower selection because you never learned how to jazz up a basic tee.

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Ethics: It feels misogynistic. Someone smarter than me can probably make some arguments for why it is, but the closest I’ve come to is that we don’t have “women’s fit” pants. We don’t have “women’s fit” hats. Or if we do, I never looked them up, so they’re not real. Something about a shirt style meant for people who traditionally have curves feels…icky? Bad? Creepy? Watchful? Oogling? Perceptive? Not sure which word fits best but all of them don’t feel great. 

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Price Tag: The pink tax is a term coined by marketing professionals to explain the higher cost of women’s products. Simply put, women will pay more for the same product as a man, so long as it looks more feminine. Because of this, prices for things like shampoo and shaving materials increase in price and decrease in quality. A tee is no different. Many have found that the plunging neckline and weirdly capped sleeves are thinner, poorly sewn, and often come with a price higher than that of a normal cotton tee. 

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Style: it’s just ugly. Unless you’re an early twenties fitspo legend, I’d venture to guess that most women don’t love the look of their skin beneath this fabric torso condom. Celebrities don’t wear it. Teens don’t wear it. If the two most fashionable resources we have say ick to this, than why are the rest of us even bothering to try?

In the end, it all comes down to personal style. If you want to feel like a mummy in a bedazzled call sleeve, I certainly won’t stop you. I am not here to yuck a yum. However, the freeing feel of a loose tee shirt that can be worn to bed or to a sports game? That’s a rare find. 

 

The world is ending. End it in comfort.

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