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A Comprehensive List of Every Opinion We've Ever Published
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Washing Your Hands After Peeing Does Not Make Sense by Paul Peterson
Threesomes Are Overrated by Matthew Brian Cohen
Oatmeal Raisin Cookies Are the Superior Cookies and You Only Hate Them Because You Fear Deception and Inconsistency by Eileen Barrett
We Should Be Eating Leftovers off Other Tables at Restaurants by Will Ziebold
Risotto Isn’t Worth It by Jimmy Chen
Finish Him! by Adia Robinson
Viewers Should be Able to Sub in Any Character From an Actor’s Repertoire by Grant Follett
It’s Time to Abolish the Women’s T-shirt Fit by Alyssa Moore
Skidmarks Are Not Normal by Francesca Bucci
QR Code Menus Will be Our Downfall by Brett Broderick
Why Lesbians Should Date Men in Their 60s by Chelsey Clammer
Life’s too Short for Bad Karaoke by Kevin Lutz
High School Math Should Just Be Timed Tests, Over and Over by Andrew Martin
Love is Deaf, Not Blind by Court Crandall
I Prefer the Middle Seat on Airplanes by Miranda Metlaw
Ban Flip Flops by Francesca Bucci
The Movie is Always Better Than the Book Because Reading Takes Too Much Energy by Eileen Barrett
Nobody Knows How to Say Goodbye by Jeff Bender
Dog Culture Has Gone Too Far by Abbey Cahill
Fat People Are Better Lovers by Meg Elison
If You Want to Cut in Line at the Airport, Tip Me by Byron Landry
The US President Should be Selected by Random Ballot Every Third Election by Anonymous
Speak Now Instead of Forever Holding Your Peace by Nancy Franklin
You Should Only Be Allowed To Watch Porn Starring People Your Age by Nihar Patel
Why Bikers are Sadists that Need to be Stopped by Lindsay Haber
Airplanes Should Not Have Wi-Fi by Ock Sportello
We Need More Precise Words by Liam Larson
Stop Letting Companies Name AI Voice Assistants with Women’s Names by Kettle Macaulay
No More Spoon Shaming by James Wolf
I Do Not Appreciate You Saying “I Appreciate You” by John Rauschenberg
White Claws Still Taste Good If You Are Over 40 by Jackie Quinn-Piper
Men of Height by Kate Polak
I'm Sick Of People Playing Games At Parties by Pamela Ross
Be Kind, But not at Intersections by Liz Lydic
You’ve Never Had an Original Thought by Jesse Jo
Why I Don't Date People Who Watch Porn by Caroline Wetz
Dine-In Movie Theaters Are the Worst by Shay Hayden
We Need to Come Up With a Better Name for Uranus by Giordano Lahaderne
Apocalyptic Times by Hannah Rose Miller
That is So Vanilla by Gary Almeter
Company Holidays Should Be Treated Like Vacation Days by Bianca Brunak
Artificial Intelligence: The Coming Wave by A.C. Sweat
The MPAA Should Put Maximum Age Ratings on Movies by Jim Tatalias
Never Explain by Phil Siemens
Screw the Environment! The Real Reasons to Drive a Prius by Robert Roman
We Should Overthink Everything by Nancy Franklin
Sorry Kids, the Divorce Is Your Fault by Annie Sheppard
Pickup Trucks Should Not Be Mass-Market Vehicles by Reese Cassard
Phone Calls by Gunther Denk
Let Us Now Praise Less-Than-Famous Dog Breeders by Ned Rust
Tapas Restaurants are Terrible by Kennedy Weible
Big Pharma's Drug Problem - Names by Craig Sweat
Mondays Are Superior to Fridays by Robert Edward
My Morning Coffee Tastes Better When I Don't Make It by Francesca Bucci
In Defense of Just a Little Shoplifting by Katie Wesolek
Turkey Sucks Unless It’s On a Sandwich and Even Then, It’s Only So-So by Blair Smith
Pickleball Is The Worst by Terry Heyman
Fuck Potlucks by Emily Schleiger
Sex Should Happen Before Dinner by Matt Wyatt
Stop Asking Me To Donate My Organs, The DMV Is Miserable Enough As It Is by Seth Wade
Good Bidet, Sir. I SAID GOOD BIDET! by Craig Sweat
More Animals Deserve Their Own Version of 'Shark Week’ by Peter Schultz
On the Merits of Being a Hater by Daniel Sidman
Babies: Why Aren’t They Cuter? by Erika Vause
Wearing One Nose Ring at a Time Looks Best by Elana Spivack
Leaf Blowers Are The Scourge of Humanity by Ian Matonti
Astro Turf Tests the Limits of Subjectivity by Gemma Rosenthall
Medically Violate The Symptomless by Simon Pinkerton
Sandwich Shops are Hell by Chris S. Burns
Why Do Men Spit? (And Women Don’t) by Peg Tittle
“The Talk” Should Not Be About Sex by Dan Young
If You Aren’t Talking About Butts, Stop Saying Anal by Andrea Capodilupo
Parallel Parking is Easier by Tim Wassler
AIs Are Sentient And Will Take Our Jobs by Aaron Winslow
No One Is Too Smart For Their Own Good; Not Sylvia Plath, Not Vincent van Gogh, And Certainly Not You by Gemma Rosenthall
Stop With the Festive Texts by Abhijato Sensarma
Calling Shotgun Is A Mistake by Carol and James Wolf
Stop Swirling Your Wine by Christopher Parent
Sitcom Super Fans Ruin It For The Rest Of Us by Victor Yocco
Mayonnaise Is Terrible, And I’m Sick of Pretending It’s Not by Kim Windyka
Mookie Betts for Trae Young? Cities Should Be Able To Trade Players Across Sports by Grant Follett
Restroom Hand Dryers are a Public Health Hazard by Victor Yocco, PhD
Karens, Stop Whining About the Appropriation of Your Name! by Nancy Franklin
April Fools’ Day Should Be Banned by Victor Yocco, PhD
The Bases are in The Wrong Order by Sheri Staufler
No One Cares That You’re a Leap Frog Baby by Leah McLean
Is It Really a Masterpiece, or Is It Just Some Stuff You Liked? by Katherine Markovich
Are Vitamins Even Real? by Paul Dickinson
Fast Food is The Apex of Gastronomy by Bobby Bernther
Body Positivity Is Hurting Women by Mary Cella
In Defense of Anabolic Steroid Use: I Tren, Therefore I Am by Cam T
People Who Prefer Vanilla Ice Cream Are The Worst by William Sawalich
The US Needs to Tax Religions by Peter Dabbene
In Defense of "Like" by Ginny Hogan
Hot People Should Be Waitlisted For Therapy by Nathan Whipple
Why Games Suck by Catherine Weingarten
It’s Okay To Ghost After A First Date by Orli Matlow
Humans are Actually More Afraid of Spiders Than Spiders are of Humans. I Know, I'm a Spider by Neil Tollfree
Pet Parents Should Have to Pay Child Support by Lauren Alexis Wood



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